11.27

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and for China… I thought it went swimmingly.

We started cooking at around 10 am Wednesday morning, and didn’t finish with all the dishes and putting everything back away until after midnight, Friday morning.

Everyone in the house was invited, along with the foreign fellowship, and we were all allowed to invite 2 people. So that brought it out to there being about…115 people or so in the house. So 115 people, 12 pies, 1 tragic spill down a flight of stairs, 4 turkeys, being so incredibly thankful for my God and the sacrifice He made for me, 9 rat sightings, thanking God for my family and ivan, and 5 vicious games of uno later… our night was a success.

Things have continued to be just as hectic, unprepared, and crazy since the day I got here.

Now, I’ve been to many a foreign country, even dirtier, filthier… stranger, places than here, but I have never, ever seen politics the way the people live by them here. Let alone had to personally live in them for an extended period of time. The lack of organization, from the government, businesses, the way they drive, even the way they network as their motivation for their friendships, is absurd.

And despite my lack of personal interest in the place, I know the Lord has called me to persevere, at least for the next 2 months, so I will do so in all my ability.

I’ve definitely been learning patience. And how to put Barbara’s needs above my own,

trying, at least.

But I think the biggest thing I’ve been learning is how I am a servant.

For the Lord, and to those He places above me.

Not merely offering of my service.

For someone who offers their service is at liberty to say when they shall offer their services, and how they will do it.

But as servants… we have to do what we’re told, when we’re told, even when we think we’d have the right to do otherwise.

But the thing is, as a servant… I don’t have the right to do otherwise. Even though as a human, as a conditioned American… I’m born and bred to believe in my rights, yet as a Christian, it is my right to not have any.

To take getting yelled at for something I didn’t do, and put down my ‘right’ to tell them I didn’t actually do it.

So… I’m learning to be a servant.

1 Cor. 9:19

I think the Lord’s preparing me to be one heck of a wife.

I hope so, at least.

Speaking of which…

I was in love once.

Or so I thought.

But I’m coming to realize more and more how I was in love with the way I was treated, the situations he would cause for me, and just the things he would do for me, rather.

As you could put it…

I loved him once before,

and I failed.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for hurting him the way I did,

Though I still partially feel like it was necessary.

For us to get to where we are now.

For us to grow.

For me to learn to actually love him.

And boy, do I ever.

So whatever it is the Lord is teaching me, and preparing me for…

please.

pray for me…

and the rest of my time here?

thanks.

10.29

I took my nose ring out yesterday.

I miss it,

But I miss him, more.
Things seem to be getting… not necessarily easier, but I’m starting to understand a bit more of what’s going on.

Which isn’t much.

But when I even get somewhat of a hint of what’s happening, it’s comforting.

So far, I’ve eaten pig esophagus, a whole fish head, eyes and all, hotter peppers than even the majority of the Chinese in the house can handle, and yet when I dislike the dreadfully popular jelly cups, Tim calls me picky.

Trudy is still in Sichuan to be with Greg Alice and the new baby Morgana, and Trudy got pick pocketed yesterday. She thought she felt something, so she turned around and just started weeping to 2 men behind her whom she thought might have been the ones to do it. So as she was crying, she was saying in Chinese; “my money my money! That’s all the money I have for my baby! My baby my baby…!” one of the men looks at the other, reaches in his pocket, and simply gave her the wallet back.

Man. God is good.

Barbara and I went to the mall to get pedicures for 30 yuan, which is less than like 5 American dollars. Hoorah.

While we were waiting to go in, we were sitting in a McDonalds and 3 little homeless kids came in, who couldn’t have been older than 5, begging for food.

So Barb bought them fries.

I actually taught English yesterday and today.

You know, using the book and all.

It went well.

I didn’t even mind it, really.

I’ve learned how left is [phonetically] ‘zho bien,’ and right is ‘yo bien.’ This is ‘jigga,’ and that is ‘nigga.’ I’ve taken the ‘son lawn sure’ to work everyday by myself, bought pictures, and even gone to stores alone.

Hey. It’s a big step for me.

I didn’t get bit by any bugs yesterday! It’s a … China day miracle.

Everyone smokes here.

It’s even worse than the south, I think.

My hair has started to come out a bit. But I’m going to leave it in as long as possible.

It rained again today.All the pastel colored umbrellas are kind of… beautiful.

The Chinese in the house keep complimenting my ability to use chopsticks.

I knew my never satisfied desire for sushi would one day pay off.

I printed out numerous pictures to put on my wall a few days ago. And then strung a mosquito net around my bed with the rope from my hammock, and now can’t even see the pictures at all.

Yet I’m excited to take even more pictures of the people, and places, and just… faces that make up this dreadfully humid, uniquely beautiful, island that is Hainan.

Isaiah 42:6-7 “I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness…”

10.22

Well, Barb and I got to the island at 1.

And I was told I’d be teaching English at 10 am.

So I go, completely unprepared… I don’t even know what a kindergarten English class looks like! Let alone the material, or way I’m supposed to present it.

The teachers just yell at me afterwards, and make sure I’m aware that they’re aware I’ve obviously never taught children before. Hmmm. Welcome to China, eh?

I go the next day, and it’s a bit better. I feel like I know what I’m doing a bit more, which really isn’t saying much.

And now Ivy, that same teacher that kept yelling at me, asks if I’m her friend.

I assure I most certainly am, and she proceeds to ask me how old I am, if I’m married, and how she’s hopeless because she’s now a whopping 25 and still single.
So that was from 10-11 in the morning, then from 2:30-4:30 I teach English at an after school college program.

I was instructed to simply play a question game; where they can ask me any question, in English, and I answer them.

Just for them to get to hear, and actually use what English they do know, to some use.

One of the boys asked me if I have a boyfriend.

I don’t really know how to easily sum that one up for my best friends back home!

Let alone 50-60 17 year olds, with a 2nd grade English comprehension level.

I haven’t stopped sweating since I got here.

Or showered in over 2 weeks, at that.

I love the people in the house. And the schools. And the kids… I just love people.

Tim dropped me off at the college to teach today and told me I had to walk back home.

Alone.

In china.

3 miles.

I get lost in St. George.

So after school I walk back, and after asking directions a couple times, I do make it back safely to the house.

As I’m walking through the gate, Tim pulls up behind me on his motorcycle, and exclaims, ‘not bad for a rookie!’

Apparently he had been following me the whole time to make sure I could do it, but to not cause me to depend on him to be my crutch.

Everyone is constantly drinking bubble tea, and staring at me.
‘Coffee night’ was awesome. I didn’t really know what to expect… but it’s funny how comfortable I immediately feel when surrounded by believers and espresso.

Being here is kind of everything, and nothing I imagined it to be all at once.

I’m covered in bug bites, - I think today’s count was in the upper 20’s, and I loathe the relentless stench of mold, due the leaking roof around me.

I love the food, and the way we eat it.

It hasn’t stopped raining since I got here.

Which is weird to me with this previously inexperienced humidity.
I found a secret note from my mom hidden in my Bible today.

It must run in the family, because I did the same thing for my dad and Ivan before I left.
I hope I never get to the place where I consider it… convenient, or easy to serve the Lord.

Because it should never be.

Yet what a complete joy, and privilege it is that God Himself would choose to use this unworthy, and inexperienced vessel.

Gal. 6:9-10 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

hong kong

so, after that last blog about being able to take the flight that next morning with the layover in tokyo... didnt really play out like that.

i did fly to la from vegas, was about to get on my flight to tokyo, and they told me i couldnt. and i'd have to pick up my baggage, go down to ticketing, and do it all again.

for the 3rd time.

by the time the airplane has been waiting a good 40 minutes for the workers to dig my bags out of the bottom of the plane, deliver them to me, walk the 3 huge buildings down to ticketing... i was crying like a baby. just frustrated... not really stressed out, just upset. i'm supposed to have been in hong kong for over 24 hours by now, and i'm in la. having to check my bags again.

after going back and forth from china airlines, to american airlines, back to china airlines again, [with no help from american air, whom were the cause of all this mishap in the first place...] i finally get my new tickets, and am once again flying to taiwan for my layover.

man. that was a long day.

i get to hong kong, collect my belongings, and find barbara!

i dont think i've ever been so happy to see someone in my life.

we take the train, then the bus, then a taxi... to her friends house in hong kong where we'll be staying for a few days, and i get the sweetest sleep possible, known to man.

so these last few days barb and i have just been hanging out in hong kong with niki and brandy.

went to a wonderful [tourist] church on sunday, and learned a bit about prayer. ate at a traditional chinese restaurant and learned how to eat every meal 'family style.'

my mom would love this.

got to go to victoria peak and look over the beautiful skyline view of hong kong, take the star ferry across, and walk down temple street, bargaining my way through the best deals ever.

it's 6 in the morning now, and i've been up since 4. due going to bed at 8 pm.

i think it's safe to say i'm a bit jet lagged?

we're going to get some sushi today, drink our last starbucks for a good 4 months, and possibly hit an art museum before flying to the island tonight.

i guess now the REAL fun begins.

airplanes

part 1

even getting TO the plane, the Lord has continually been pouring His grace upon me.

so first, at the check counter, my 2 checked bags were only 80 dollars each, rather than 100 each, as was expected. hey. 40 extra bucks? yes please.

the lady at the counter, evelynn cierra, goes to hong kong every february and was saying how she should bring my mom for 1/2 off with her. so we exchanged emails for the possibility of doing just that.

evelynn then let BOTH my parents walk me to the gate. which is usually not allowed at all. if you have a child traveling under the age of 14, then one parent can walk them. but never both. with a 20 years old, at that.

praise the Lord.

so, they got to come through security with me, which meant they got to carry some of my carry on baggage through, which means they didnt think ALL of those bags were mine, forcing me to leave something behind. and trust me. i had a lot more than what is allowed on.

but not with my parents...!

He is worthy.

so we go through security and my pump didnt go off in the metal detector, forcing me to get a wand down. this was the first time i didnt have to get checked. ever. in 10 years.

they didnt open my carry on luggage or go through my purse. filled with juice, insulin and even needles. if they would have had to go through it, it's fine, i have my doctors note that makes me exempt, it would have just taken 40 extra minutes, and a lot of hassled explaining.

but didnt have to do any of that. just walked on through.

God is so good.

so my parents walk me to the gate, spend some time together, pray for me, and leave. the meter at the car being like 60 dollars overdue, and the late check out at their hotel causing them to pay for another night, due the unexpected time spent being able to come down with me.

they got to the car, and no ticket! and didnt even have to pay for another night.

my backpack barely fit in the overhead, after some rearranging, but it fit nonetheless.

man. i serve an AWESOME God.

and i'm pretty stoked to see what He does these next 4.8 months.

part 2

so... this all happened at like 12;15 pm.

by 1 pm, i was still sitting in the plane that was supposed to have departed by 11;45 am.

they told us over the loudspeaker how we would all have to exit the plane, pick up our baggage, and re-ticket because "unfortunately, this plane wont be flying to LA any longer."

i had to get off, carry everything down, get a hold of my parents before they were too far out of vegas, pick up my baggage, meet up with the parentals, and go stand in line again. that same never ending line from before.

as i'm getting more and more frustrated, the Lord was reminding me how i had been praising Him only 30 minutes earlier for the great things He was doing. and if i would continue to praise Him for His greatness even when it seems everything was now for nothing.

and i choose to say yes. :]

as my mom and i are standing in line for the ticket counter again, the woman in front of me looks upset so i try to make conversation with her. find out she is a christian missionary from thailand! pretty sweet.

we get up to the counter and plan it so we get to see evelyn again. she sets me up with my new flights, for the next day, gives us a free hotel night, and lunch.

so NOW... instead of flying

vegas->la->taipai->hong kong-> hainan,

now i'll be leaving tomorrow morning, and going

vegas->la->tokyo->hong kong->hainan.

with the possibility of a first class upgrade due my overnight layover?

either way.

through the checking the baggage again, going through all the security again, and hoping my carry on finds a home in the overhead compartments once more...

i will continue to praise.

psalm 7.17

aida

i bought my plane ticket yesterday.

for october 15th - march 5th

even though the consulate said they were only sending a 3 month visa... just pray i can get it renewed while there. eh?

so in this next weeks mail, i can be expecting-

my plane ticket [because apparently they do it that a way, it being international, and all]

my visa, including my passport that was sent out with it

my tevas i left at aleah's in portland

and a hammock i got off of amazon for 15.50

something happened this morning, that might not be that big of a deal to anyone else... anywhere else in the country.

but for me, in utah...

i was thoroughly blessed by it.

so... at work a couple pulled up to the drive through window that is our coffee shop, and we got talking, and they were from central california. i told them i just moved back to utah from murrieta after going to bible college for 2 years, and they asked what i was doing now... and i proceeded to tell them how i'd be moving to china in a month, and continued on making their drinks.

as i handed it out the window to them and as they were driving away, the wife in the passenger seat yelled across how they would be praying for me in china.

i know it's really not THAT big of a deal...

but random encounters with other christians in utah that offer to pray for you... without even knowing my name, at that, DON'T happen.

i just love how we are the FAMILY of God.

ya know?

ivan and i went and saw Aida tonight at my old high school

of all the shows i saw on broadway those 4 years ago,

aida was my favorite.

so i knew it'd be a tough act to follow...

it wasnt BROADWAY, but tuacahn sure didnt disapoint.

it might just have something to do with the atmosphere.

where we saw aida tonight is in an amphitheater, and sitting outside at 9 at night, with not a single bug bothering us due the dryness that is St. george... isnt something i'm going to have for too much longer.

today was a good day.

preparation

I got my last 2 shots today- Flu, and the final hep b shot.

The consulate called and said they were sending me my 3-month visa.

I picked up more insulin, malaria, typhoid, thyroid, pro-biotics, doxycycline, and minocycline prescriptions.

I transferred money from my savings into checking, so when it goes through I can buy my plane ticket.

Hey.

I’m moving to China.

it's fall time.

I’ve found a new appreciation for my front yard

And have been spending a lot of time on the porch lately.

Be it curled up on the rocking chairs reading to kill a mockingbird,

Sprawled out on blankets on the damp grass listening to iron & wine,

Or stretched across the front steps, conversing with my beloved cat, Dixie.

Though she is rather pretentious, and exchanges generally tend to be relatively one-sided.

Whatever the case be, 9-11 front porch occurrences in this 82 degree, full moon, cricket chirping nights have been more frequent, and more enjoyed, as of late.

And it couldn’t have come a moment too soon.

i hate this time of year.

the time the sun spends out is getting shorter and shorter,

while my work hours get longer and longer.

Fall is starting, summers coming to an end…

And I’m always saying goodbye.

You’d think I’d be better at it by now.

I hate over emotional dialogue so filled with sentiment it makes you want to puke.

So I’ll try and keep this short.

I miss you.

Not you,

but the idea of you.

And knowing you’re just…

there.

Or would be, the moment I called.

And for once in my life it’s you that’s gone, and I’m here.

I guess I’m starting to see how …

alone

I really am.

And it makes the world seem a whole lot bigger.

And makes me see how much I truly do need to be relying on my God, and solely Him.

Yeah Dixie, you’re right.

We’ve still got a whole lot of learning to do.

.transient travels.

transient-adjective

lasting only for a short time; impermanent, transitory, temporary, short-lived, short-term, ephemeral, impermanent, brief, momentary, fleeting.

[psalm 39:4-5]

...and what is the measure of my days, that i may know how frail i am. indeed You have made my days as handbreadths, and my age is as nothing before You; certainly every man at his best state is but vapor...

travel-verb

to make a journey, typically of some length or abroad. journeys, expeditions, trips, tours, excursions, voyages, treks, safaris, explorations, wanderings, odysseys.

[psalm 39:7]

and now, Lord, what do i wait for?

my hope is in You.

this life of mine;

nothing more than a transient travel,

leading up to eternity.

first timers

well, i guess this is officially my first blog.

initially i planned to set this up for when i go to china for easier documentations.

but apparently, looks like i'll be getting a head start.

i just arrived back in utah on wednesday from a little road trip to seattle,

and over these last 2 weeks was reminded of how the Lord does want me in Utah,

at least for the time being, despite my animosity towards it, and it's lack of excitement.

i trust that God has given me this zeal for life for a purpose.

use it for Your glory.

and not merely myself building a name for... myself.

i'm not ok with a mundane life

i want to make a change for the gospel...

wherever i go.

i want to leave an impact on people...

whoever i meet.

is this free spirit merely immaturity that i'll one day grow up, and out of?

this adventure seeking thrill does drive me so.

these dreams and desires to travel,

& see,

& meet,

& taste,

& smell,

& experience... are they from You?

if this motivation for a lively stimulation is compelled by anything in and of myself,

please.

beat contentment into me.

but if this eager intensity and ready anxiousness for change,

for Your sake,

is from and of You... please. let it soar.

i dream big.

and truly believe that i can do nothing in and of myself.

but honestly know that in my Jesus,

i can do literally anything.

and plan on doing just about everything out there there is to do.

at least what my God has for me.

yeah Lord, i think i'm ready for my next step.

for our next step.

whatever step it is you have for me.